My deepest apologies about my literary death matches. It has taken awhile to clean up the mess brought about by the Jar Jar vs. Jack episode. The arena was rebuilt relatively quickly, but I’ve since had to deal with a writers’ strike and character rebellion. It isn’t looking good folks. Aslan and Gandolf withdrew from the competition. Sitting in my office, they both told me that being the Christ figures, that they needed to choose life over death, especially since it isn’t yet Judgment Day. Who am I to boss around the Christ figures? So they left. On the way out, all of the contestants in the Classic Conference except for Samson (Oedipus, Brutus, and Odysseus) removed themselves from the competition because they wouldn’t have a chance to fight Aslan and/or Gandolf. In the meantime, Pearl was playing house with Samson and cut his hair off, forcing his resignation. Tom Sawyer stole Gollum’s ring and was playing fetch with Haiku, who swallowed the ring. Gollum, so distraught about it tried to rip apart Haiku’s stomach. Eragon ate Gollum protecting the little black lab and died of indigestion. Because Haiku ate the ring, she is still invisible and has yet to show up…she has to pass it eventually but until then, she’s out of the competition. So we are left with the children’s conference:
Tom Sawyer vs. Henry Flemming and Ender Vs. Pearl
This has turned into a disaster and I apologize. Unfortunately, because the show is sponsored by Comcast, you need to pay an additional $59.95 (with a $30 transaction fee it turns out) to offset the cost of the dropped contestants. Stay tuned for the final four. I have to go pull Ender off of the ceiling.