It happens to people all the time. In business, they say that everone is replaceable. This is true in sports, education, policitcs, and now, marriage. I never thought it would happen, but I’ve been replaced. Don’t be shocked or dissappointed. It was bound to happen.
So who is it? Well, it’s more of a what than a who. I’ve been replaced by a green body pillow. Yup. It’s true. The pillow, in it’s long cottony passivity, better supports the pregnant stomach and knees. It’s what I hear anyways. I never should have agreed to share my bed with such a villain, but I was trying to be the supporting husband. Now, I lay there and I feel its smirk burning into the back of my head. I can feel the stupid thing if within 6 inches of me. It radiates its presence, repulses me like an aligned magnet, driving me closer to edge of our king-sized bed. Sarah tries to snuggle and with each inch she tries to nuzzle closer, I’m driven that much fruther. That darn pillow, wrapped up in her arms mocks me and pushes harder.
Fortunately, the replacing is temporary. Once the baby is born I can excommunicate the thing back to floor, or better yet, another room. Oh yes, Mr Pillow, your day is coming. And I can’t wait.